i hate conflicts. I JUST HATE CONFLICTS! Why would there be conflicts everywhere? Why do i have to fight with my mom, or my cousin fight with her mom? I just recently caused a deafening conflict of my cousin and my aunt. I'm totally grieved of myself. I said she didn't want to go swimming. So, the fight started. I feel so shamed of myself. I feel so ashamed. Now, i really feel like killing myself. My guilt always overwhelmed me. I just keep on thinking it's my fault. Yes, It's my fault. I feel very sorry. Very Sorry. But if i tell her, she will kill me and i will be embarrassed. But, i don't know why do i have to care so much about my pride and ego? Kinship is more important. KINSHIP! I love my cousin... i love her, although sometimes she is really egoistic, she is my beloved. I must start to control my mouth now. I should shut up. I hate myself. Why did i just have to say that she did not want to go swimming?!?!?! I just wanted desperately to go swimming, But... She... is ... must be feeling terrible now. The problem with all of us is that we put ourselves in front of others. I hate myself. Jesus, I'm sorry. I will apologise to her. Dear god, im sorry... I feel utterly ashamed of myself. I...