i just watched i little bit of my girl. girls in korean drama are so fortunate, they get to be with a handsome guy that loves them and is willing to sacrifice himself for her.mylife, is nothing close to it. i dun get it. why can't we just be with the person we love and care for each other? I am still in a state of disorder ever since AbsakIdd0 left me. ever since his departure or maybe even his appearance, my life is tipped over. i am not blaming you absa. You do not know how i feel. I know you love this girl, but me? You said! I... why can't i just be like the girl in the korean drama, having be with the person i love, even if that guy is a brother, i am glad that i can stay by his side, and will be overjoyed if he loves me too. but, that will never happen to me. i was just sitting there. maybe it's like stella said, i did not make an effort. but, if i didn't, why would i be so down, and why would i be crazing over absakIdd0 now? I don't know. It's hard. AbsakIdd0 is like the kind of person that i can imagine spending the rest of my life with. But... is it too early to even think about this kind of things. no. i really feel that once the he or she appears, that person is forever, he or she will be there forever. it's fate right? but fate is so cruel and unchangeable, it is definitely not my choice. But is it fate that i met absa? Is it fate he left me? Is it fate that i stopped mapling for 2 mths, that i lost him? Is it me angering my friend causing me to lose my dearest absa? He is dear to me, i guess i won't be able to forget him ever. my mind is in a state of disorder, i can't think. whenever i maple, i'll think of him and track him. then, if he is within my reach, i will rush to see him. but, he doesn't remember me now. he doesn't like me now. he likes someone else now. Loving him is not my capability now. it is way beyond my dearest imagination. Dear AbsakIdd0, if you are reading this now, please, do you remember me? Can i call you kor? Like all the other high leveled girls in maple call you? Can I? Please,leave me a message if you do. Hehe, did i bore you?